Put Through the Refinement of Fire


Sometimes ... we are put through the ringer. I’m sure we signed up for it before we were born, I’m sure we’re simply deeper being taught to create Heaven, but when you’ve been doing shadow work your whole life ... and then the apocalypse happens ... phooph. It's not always fun; but the noticing / witnessing is fun ...



Everytime I am near a campfire lately... it seems I have jumped right in!

I had a dream last night that my friend was afraid; they felt like they were on fire. When I touched them, my hand sizzled like if you accidentally touched a hot stove. Moving my hand back and shaking the heat out, I said maybe you are ... maybe this is your purification period. And I explained to them what I did when I felt this way ... some of us will walk through the fire: it is one way to get to the other side of some thresholds or to completely leave past experiences behind; save the lessons; let go of the energy and even the memories.


“When I was in the fire, I decided to drive to one of my favorite places (which was cascade aquatic center) and swim in the geothermal water. As I was swimming, the themes specific for me came up, which had to do with old religious beliefs and “not making it,” “not being good enough,” “not fitting the mold,” “not being worthy of Heaven.” I decided right then and there, while swimming in my happy place, that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if some outside force accepted me or not. It didn’t matter if a god existed who was not able to love me without conditions ... I would. I decided that I love myself no matter what realm I wake up in, no matter what the people around me think of me, no matter anything outside of myself. Because only I am responsible for loving myself.”


And then I told them how my logic kicked in, and if I as a little small human was able to love myself this fully, surely there is a higher density collective of beings who also do. And I told them if they don’t want to go alone I will hold their hand ... and I held their hand while they made their choices of what steps they would take next, which was to go solo into the trees and near the lakes and quest for themselves.

Sharing because I don’t think this dream was coincidental. I think many of us are having parallel or similar experiences right now, each our own flavor. And I wanted to encourage you that you can do it. You can love yourself more than you ever knew you were capable of. You can move through the realms with ease. And you will come out a Swan like Inanna on the other side.



Family Can Be Tricky


Sometimes ... we are put through the ringer. I’m sure we signed up for it before we were born, I’m sure we’re simply deeper being taught to create Heaven, but when you’ve been doing shadow work your whole life ... and then the apocalypse happens ... you notice the dissonance. The dissonance between my family and I is so great that we can’t even hear or understand each other. We want to ... we try to ... but sometimes it is best to say I love you and I see and feel it differently, and it is best not to continually poke at it and discuss it. It is a strange place to be. And it is something I feel fully capable of! They are all meeting up today for dinner and fun and I will be at a moon ritual with my friends. One of them told me they were worried about me, to keep an open mind and keep yourself informed. My mind is probably more open than most humans ... not by choice ... I literally have an open awareness ... and it makes sense they would feel that way. I couldn’t expect someone who just started their shadow work journey (that’s what covid is in many ways metaphysically; busting open and up to the surface the deep fears and beliefs and memories holding us back) to be where I am when I have been doing it my whole life. Feels peaceful. To surrender to what is and to accept it as neutral - time isn’t actually real so although it feels like “I went first” it is simply their time and I will see them soon! The dissonance gap won’t close by my will alone ... only when it is divinely ready.

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