The Full Story
People often ask me questions of my journey so far; some think I am interesting!
My yoga teacher once said she wanted to put a cat cam on my head to see life how I see.
Here are a few stories of my experience so you may understand and relate.
When I was between 11-13, I began having sleep attacks, around the same time each day. They progressed so much so that I would stand up and fall asleep and it was obvious that something was wrong. Then I began to get cataplexy anytime I laughed, and I wasn’t able to laugh, as it would end up me on the floor, with paralysis, as paralysis and sleep paralysis began about the same time period. For sleep paralysis, something scary would come at me, attack me, and eventually I would be paralyzed and often died in my sleep. I have attended my funeral many times over as I have hypnagogic hallucinations and waking up inside of different tunnels of consciousness is normal for me. Eventually diagnosed with narcolepsy and diving into research, my family and I realized that Western medicine was not sustainable over an entire life (it was purely amphetamines back then) and didn’t feel like the whole picture of what was really going on (mind body spirit). So we began researching alternative methods to treat. When I was 19, narcolepsy for me took a turn and I also egan having hypnopompic hallucinations, which made it so I could also hear my dreams. So I asked my psychiatrist to give me the smallest amount of medication possible to help me be present and awake, and in the meantime I am going to go across the parking lot to tell the counselor everything that feels so real to me and know I won’t be judged. I asked them to talk to each other to help me take the smallest amount possible, and eventually weaned off completely. This led me deeper into alternative methods of support and realizing that it is not untrue, the Western thought … but that in Eastern and Indigenous thought … we are untrained and being initiated shamanic souls; that "narcolepsy" is a set of shamanic dream gifts; some say it is a mark of the reluctant shaman.
That was about 20 years ago. Today I don’t take any medication (and I have had one of the worst possible cases with all symptoms plus hearing; my
Doctor used to invite other Doctors to meet me and ask questions even) and my dream life is more extensive than my waking life. Some nights I have so much as an entire other life. I can easily support other humans through subconscious reprogramming, shadow work, and ancestral and personal trauma release … and more. I love astral traveling, sending reiki treatments into my dreams, waking up within my dreams and dreaming while I am awake. I often wake up in pure black cosmic starry skies and bring it all back to the drawing board.
When Covid began, the entire planet was blasted open to the invitation to fulfill our collective shadow work. How close we are to each other, how to be in community together, when to step in and when to allow for space, etc. etc. etc. And for me I went on a deep journey to the Otherworlds. I had already been choosing to practice a deep shadow work, and did not forsee the level of the depths I wanted to go. I often hear in medicine or my
The Magical Child
Living as Innana
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